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Led by the Heart

Posted on October 28, 2012

Even though my babe and baby slept soundly at five am this morning, I was up with an aggravated and moaning tummy. Before clueing in my mind screamed “Labour! You’re in labour!” I rose from bed and paced around the bedroom for a moment trying to deduce what was really going on. Since obviously labour wasn’t my issue, I figured I was still feeling off from the version of the Black Plague I contracted over a week ago but when I peed, I got my answer. My period. She’s back. I have been waiting on her for almost three months. It took so long to come back that I legitimately thought I might be preggo all over again, so much so I bought two…

Letters From Your Pregnancy Past

Posted on October 26, 2012

Hubby tells me it is not safe for me to be blogging in the tub. He described in morbid detail how I might suffer if my Sony laptop, Stevie, were to fall in the water and apparently the situation would not end well for me. Or Stevie. But sorry Hubby, this is my life now. Mommy blogger living on the edge. Mother by day, superhero blogstress by night. It’s all flash and glam around here people. Yeah, that’s right. I do have clothes that smell fresh and not like baby puke, yes yes! I do speak to other adults in full sentences that do not begin with “Well my kid….” And, I do more than just Facebook picture after picture of my loin fruit!…

I Just Want to Stalk You, Smell You and Sex You Up – Don’t Read This, Dad.

Posted on October 8, 2012

I am here to tell you, there is time after becoming a mother to throw on a pair of high heels and stalk celebrities, but this (for most) must be achieved cleverly. Pawning baby off on Hubby in order to sniff out a very attractive British comedian without raising suspicion wasn’t exactly difficult, due to Hubby’s obsession with his mini-Jedi. The night I went out to stalk Russell Brand, with my breasts jacked up to Jesus and my eyes painted up like a common whore went a long way to revitalizing my spirit and served as a reminder that I am not dead. I am a mother, yes. But I can still pull out acts of pure unadulterated stupidity and fun. Just for the…