Posts by khuyghebaert

A Return to Breathing

Posted on October 27, 2014

When Jonah jumped freely, with open arms toward me from the edge of the pool and as he clasped his arms around me tightly & lovingly, I finally realised just how much he’s changed in the last year. I watched my son tonight, play with my husband in the pool, Jonah was bright, unafraid, kind to others and adventurous. This, on the tail end of a weekend where my son transitioned seamlessly to a toddler bed, took a shower standing up “like daddy” and actually thoroughly listened to both his daddy and myself, I felt like I was finally in a place long awaited, feeling peaceful. Some of the constant “worry” of parenting faded away tonight and I let myself enjoy my son. Watching…

Dear, “Not Qualified to Make Soap”

Posted on June 2, 2014

A couple weeks ago, I had one of those epic breakdowns; an emotional outburst that catapults you to the brink of insanity even without the help of several glasses – maybe a bottle – of wine. Yes, a breakdown so bold, you can’t decipher the point to life anymore, and in between the briny tears, your eyes give up trying to obtain clear vision and blur beyond comprehension and then they add insult to injury by making the unflattering choice of puffing out, adorning themselves with red around the edges and then no matter how much you try and blink it away, they begin to sting like the dickens. Finally, as you wipe tear after tear away, you realise you’ve adopted The Ugly Cry…

Me, The Fatterfly With The Wicked Arse Pimple

Posted on April 10, 2014

Recently I’ve been living in a parallel universe. A place where I am a portly – but beautiful – social butterfly and I have this weird desire to fill my weekends up with social engagements until both Saturday and Sunday are positively brimming with people, places … big purple dildos, far-from-sobering sangria, live theatre tickets and plates upon plates of proud, perky benedicts. I am talking busy to a point where I don’t even see my husband or my kid; I just harass them via text message while living the glitzy, jet set life of a socialite. Sounds grand doesn’t it? It’s exhausting. There is a reason why I am not “this” girl. After three weekends of shenanigans just like those I described, I…

Jonah The Destroyer

Posted on March 18, 2014

My Bestie gets a little scary when you don’t do what she says right the hell then, when her mouth still hangs open from releasing the instruction and the words still reverberate. Recently, she’s been pointing out that my title, as Mommyblogger, should be revoked as I now mostly “mommy” and I don’t “blogger” as much as the title demands. At first it was a text here and a text there, “Hey, I just blogged. Your turn.” Well, all right that’s acceptable best friend behavior… but then she tried being kind – something that sticks in her craw because it is not her nature to force kindness instead of just kicking your ass – “Oh, my blog is just frivolity, wine and a talking…

Captivity & Selfishness

Posted on February 11, 2014

Twenty months ago I was big, round and glowing. I was at once experiencing the elation of the highs and navigating the deepest trenches of the lows. Pregnancy was this amazing chance to reflect – however emotionally straining – on the life I had led thus far. It was unbound time to reflect upon the things I had achieved and the things I hadn’t yet achieved. Pregnant with my first child, and being home with several weeks of early maternity leave was a gift that gave me the time to accept the changes I was experiencing in my life – both the physical and metaphorical – in these beautiful long expanses of time, completely unencumbered by any of life’s necessary annoyances. This is the…

You’re On My List, Kid.

Posted on January 22, 2014

I am at that point where I’ve neglected my blog long enough now that so much has happened with Jonah that is worthy of an update except all the memories are bleeding together making themselves tricky to articulate. The mentally filed away stories are backing up and the endless parade of words in my head are forming sentence after sentence, back-to-back, thirty miles long and my fingers are jerking nervously and cramping up with anxiety over the sheer weight of responsibility they have of typing all this mismanaged, chaotically organized, mental calamity of material down. I don’t even think my brain can recount half of what I want to be immortalized in this, this sorry attempt at self-publishing glory … Can I get an…

An Ode to an Aunt – Who is Owed so Much

Posted on December 25, 2013

I meant to write this the day we left. But like usual, we were in such a hurry to hoist all the boxes out in an orderly fashion, trying to make sure we left things the way we found them – a total failure on our part, our one year old and pets have each left their own delightful and unique mark – and even though at the time the move itself felt all-consuming, I still detected a sadness stir as the boxes shifted from one place to another. We were, once again, packed and moving. Leaving yet another home. Not terribly unlike the moves before, but still this was different enough to know in my gut that this home had come to mean…