Posts by khuyghebaert

Me and my Friend Jack the Ripper

Posted on July 3, 2013

Well, we are officially four days into this goddamn heat wave and I have miraculously managed to not hog-tie the kid or worse, maim him. After all I can’t blame global warming, the sun, or the position of our apartment – which receives no air or breeze at all, ever – on the mini Huygh. Therefore, I can’t in good conscience do anything to him as he wails in this 30 degree weather because he and I are two peas in one seriously boiling pod. At the very least I understand his frustration and that quells my rage – lucky for him. Now, I know complaining about 30 degree heat waves isn’t going to sit well with all my readers because many of you…

It was an experiment? It went awry?

Posted on June 28, 2013

To give you an accurate idea of what state my house is in, I’ll tell you that as I write this I can detect the smell of baby poop wafting around. I have neglected to throw out a dirty diaper and left it to warm in the summer sun on our dining room table. Yes, this is the dedication I have to the craft of writing. I knew it was now or never, so poop and its potent nostril attack strategy be damed. It is time to blog! I’ve just put our son down to nap and it brought to mind a story for your enjoyment. It is an account on our recent battles with sleep and getting our son to stop disrespecting this,…

Father’s Day – Day of Tub Floaties and More

Posted on June 17, 2013

In truth it has been difficult to blog recently. I’d love to use my usual excuse, the every-popular, “How can I write, I have a screaming, pooping ankle biter running around!” But, the truth is, I could find time during the baby’s naps or on the (few and far between) evenings when Hubby is home. There is nothing I enjoy more than sticking him with the baby as I say “Your sperm and stupidity made this, now parent damn you.” He never complains, in fact he usually smiles and says to a wriggling Jo in his arms, “Ah, hello my son, your mom is crazy. Let’s continue your education, say … Yo-da. Yo-Daaaa.” At this point once Jeff is distracted with trying to get…

Happy House

Posted on May 29, 2013

Our son Jonah started crawling at the beginning of month nine. He was tentative about it for thirty seconds, cried two or three times when he fell or bumped his head, however; cut to a week later he was this motoring, crawling, climbing mini shit storm. And, here I thought it would be a slow development taking months and months – ah no. No, no no no. No. He is no longer a blissfully stationary infant. He is a toddler who thinks he’s a man destined to be an explorer. My son does what he wants, when he wants to and he will crawl over you to get to the dog food any day of the week. Feet in your face? Yes. Uses your…

On my First Mother’s Day – This is For my Husband

Posted on May 12, 2013

Last night you were all around me As if you and I are connected in a way that means Where I go – you follow You gave me life when I believed all my life could be was an afterthought. You gave love – you gave me great words of love And this poem we call son I can’t live without you by my side Because you’ve been within me, a part of me and cradled in my heart I have carried in my womb the best of you – I is now we and we are forever If I am out there in darkness on my own All I can ever think of doing is finding my way back Within your arms is…

Woe is Me and if Not I’ll Give it a Go

Posted on April 30, 2013

I have to say, I am experiencing a weird problem. Life is good, child is only moderately frustrating once in a while when I’ve stupidly sacrificed sleep to watch crap television, so therefore not much fodder for the ol’ blog (the blog with the domain name I now pay for.) I mean I could write something if you really wanted me to. If you want a post about how much I love my squidgy pudding (baby) I could whip up some frothy, overly sentimental shmaltz for you, repeating much of what I’ve already said in new ridiculous ways. Any takers? Huh. I don’t hear a roar in the crowd. Odd. I figured I had more admirers … It’s not like everything is perfect, I…

Teething, and the Like

Posted on April 9, 2013

Well, there was a day a few weeks ago where all hell broke loose in The House of Huyghebaert. I didn’t know at the time but what was bothering our little shireling was a bout of the terrible teething baby rage. He was intolerant of everything that day. Food, air, hugs, love, diapers, stuffed toys, chew toys, bathes, outside, inside, it didn’t matter. Jonah was simply inconsolable and in the end so was I because even though I love him, I wanted to hurl him several feet away and not be responsible anymore. But, by the morning the next day I realized we had both survived, no worse for wear, so I rolled over and said “Good morning Satan,” and Jo jostled around in…

Squidgy Squidgy Fish Feet

Posted on March 25, 2013

I just finished singing a rousing rendition of “Squidgy squidgy fish feet” to my son and it dawned on me this is where all my time has gone. It has been what, more than a month since my last post? And, all I can do is apologize and try and convince you that I don’t love my son more than all of you, my dear—hopefully still devoted—public. No, the problem is this, I love making up nonsensical songs for my son while making oodles of quiche. Yes. What I am saying is I have become Susie Homemaker and I like it! It is really easy to do all the embarrassing things I do with Jonah because I am virtually a single parent these days.…

The “Da Da Da Da” Event

Posted on February 20, 2013

So, you’ve decided to make “Dada” your first word, huh? Well, isn’t that nice! Sweet even … and no, of course I wasn’t expecting “Mama” to come first! Since I am only your goddamn primary caregiver, the woman who carried you, birthed you, bleeds for you, the woman who is practically your slave and you can’t frigging offer me a little babble “Mama” action? Are you, are you kidding me? Listen up, kid. I know your dad is pretty bitchin’ but you know what else he can be? A full-on actual bitch. Yeah, I said it. I own both your asses. Your dad thinks you’re as cool as creamed corn, so what? You guys gonna form a little club where you high-five each other…

I Just Needed to Say

Posted on February 15, 2013

I am just about three million miles away from anyone right now. Emotionally, I am in a boat floating aimlessly on open ocean and though the sea is calm beneath me I feel the distance between my boat and everything else just expand, expand, expand … In my apartment the clock on the wall is ticking its way around to three thirty am and I have been lying in bed awake listening to it claim little bits of my life. You know, a friend of mine just passed away. And, I must be going through the stages of grieving mightily slow because the hits just seem to keep on coming. I heard of his passing over a week ago but I can’t help myself…